must be a devil

so much to say and no one to say it to :(

Remember last summer? We drank until we were stupid enough to fuck away reality. There was always a way out when your friends were near. They don’t teach you how to cope that close to the tree line, but they do teach you how to get by on no sleep. They teach you how to smoke, how to blow trees, how to polish a bottle. They teach you how to talk without saying anything, how to act like you don’t love each other. I hope one day we can talk about that summer and know it’s dead and gone. That place, that time, swallowed me whole, and spat me out half way across the country. I woke up on a curb, on a concrete island. I walked around in a daze, wondering how I got there. Slowly I found the pieces of myself, took the time to rearrange them, until they fit right. I am better now, my fear has made me stronger. But once in a while, I sit and think about those never-ending days, when my heart was a million miles away from my body, and my head was craddled in someone else’s idea of myself. You held me in the palm of your hand, and I never felt safe. But, to be fair, I was always trying to jump off the edge.